Mr Anniversary Gift

Despite the expense and work that goes into many weddings, getting married is pretty easy. It is staying happily married year after year that is the real challenge.

"Anything can cause conflict in a marriage," says Mattapoisett marriage counselor Lew Prouty, who has worked with hundreds of couples on the verge of divorce. He explains that when the honeymoon is over and real life kicks in, many newlyweds find themselves struggling with their new life as a couple.

Why is it that some marriages crumble and others go on to years and years of happiness? Perhaps asking those who have made it to their silver wedding anniversary and beyond can provide some wisdom.

Over the next several days, we'll be sharing the couples that were featured in this inspirational piece.

I hope you'll stick with us as we tap into the secrets of a long happy marriage.

Labels: happy marriage, marriage, successful marriage

A marriage is one of the most precious relationships in which two people can participate. Approached from the proper perspective, it can provide a springboard for living a life full of properity and abundance.

Statistics don't paint a pretty picture of the state of marriage. Successful marriages are becoming very rare, one in every three marriages usually ends up in divorce.

Married couples and experts do agree that the magical yet simple element in all relationships is the constant open and honest communication.

Happily married couples have reciprocal respect for each other. Respect is shown in the way they regard each other in actions and in words - the ability to communicate effectively is key.

In marriage, successful couples give their relationship paramount importance. They enjoy each other’s company and spend quality time together, like dating regularly. Establishing their relationship as the number one priority provides the foundation to handle any circumstance that might arise as the relationship matures.

Each spouse must learn not to give importance to minor faults and flaws; determine the really important issues and those that are not. They become aware that the purpose or their conflicts war not really to win, but rather to establish a deeper relationship.

Successful marriages are all not alike. But researchers have discovered that there are some traits present in happy married couples that contribute to the success of their marriage.

Traits that of happily married couples include:

1. Spouses in the relationship are giving. They prioritize the needs of their partners above their own.

2. There is commitment between each of them. They continue to work for their partner’s happiness and are driven to work hard on their marriage.

3. Being strong-minded makes their bond stronger. While they cherish their individuality in expressing their opinions, making decisions and pursuing goals, putting their marital relationship in harmony is their priorities.

4. These couples have active sexual lives. Sex plays a significant role in marriage, therefore they always find ways to make it more pleasurable.

5. There is constant communication in their marriage. They are free to share their thoughts and opinions about anything. They are not manipulative of the other but allowing each one to grow.

6. Each one is sensitive to the other’s need.

7. They establish goals together. They agree on their goals as 'partners in life'.

Marriage is a commitment for courageous individuals ready to risk their emotions, hard work, and challenges of building a life together.

It is a bond between two people that allows them to live truly prosperous lives full of abundance.

Author: Michael Saunders

Michael Saunders has been married for more than 22 years. He edits sites on Marriage and Prosperity and Developing a Prosperous Mind.

Labels: happy marriage, marriage

Some days, you have no time for stuff that isn't at the top of your to-do list. On those days, life is so busy that there seems to be zero opportunity to do anything time-consuming, even something important like making your marriage stronger. If you have just half a minute, then I've found an entire list of ideas to help you transform 30 seconds into a loving and memorable moment with your spouse.

1. Send him a "Remember when?" email at work. ("Remember when we rented that shack with the outdoor kitchen in Jamaica for our honeymoon, and we ate dinner under the stars every night?"; "Remember our date last Friday?!")

2. At a dinner party, wink at him across the table.

3. Put on an eye mask and pretend to have fallen asleep while he's brushing his teeth. Then surprise him with a kiss.

4. When you peck him good-bye in the morning, let your lips linger and your hands travel south just a bit.

5. Rescue him (loudly) from an unwanted phone call by shouting that you need his help right away. (If he asks how he can thank you for that good deed, use your imagination.)

6. While getting dressed to go out, let him know that he looks so good you want to chase him around the bedroom. Then do it.

7. When he comes home, say that the sight of his face still sends you, just the way it did when you first got a crush on him.

8. Slip a favorite photo of you two into an unexpected place (his tennis-racket cover, his T-shirt drawer, the book he's reading).

9. Make him comfortable when he's sick by handing him a box of tissues and the TV remote control, while brushing up against him when you deliver them. (Sensual contact may help strengthen his immune system — or, at the very least, make him happy.)

10. While waiting in a movie line, whisper in his ear, "I'm having thoughts about you that aren't rated G."

There's another 60 plus idea to go

Labels: happy marriage, love, marriage, romantic ideas, unexpected love

It is routine for people to go in for a medical or dental exam, so why not do the same for your marriage?

Now you can - thanks to James Cordova and his Marriage Checkup --

James Cordova's answer is what he calls the Marriage Checkup. It is a program he has tested in two smaller studies and that now is under scrutiny in a major federally funded study that will evaluate 200 couples in the next four years. A couple fills out detailed questionnaires that evaluate satisfaction levels for the couple in terms of co-parenting issues (a major tension point), sexual relationship (ditto), intimacy and the level of commitment toward each other.

The next step is an interview that allows Cordova and his team of graduate students to determine a couple's relationship history. Each partner identifies one major complaint and three main strengths of the relationship (in a sort of positive-to-negative ratio that affirms Gottman's findings). During that interview visit, the couple participates in a social support exercise to determine how well the spouses express themselves and listen to one another.

Two weeks later, the couple receives a detailed report in the mail. Couples will get scores for their questionnaires that reflect the health of various parts of the relationship and, more often than not, come as no surprise to the wife and husband.

Cordova cited one busy couple. They both felt deeply lonely, despite successful work lives and raising small children at home.

"Like lots of people, they put off nurturing a marriage until they get around to it," said Cordova. "But they never get around to it. We talked to them about taking more control of their marriage."

To that end, Cordova's team advised the lonely spouses to create time in their weeks rather than "find" the time. One option offered: Get a book about marriage and read it together during that created time. The idea is to "engage in a conversation with each other" but "not use the time to find or solve problems."

More on this study

Labels: anniversary, happy marriage, marriage, married couple, therapy

Research shows that getting married prompts a 50 per cent increase in housework.

When a woman is single, ironing, cleaning, cooking and other duties take up about ten hours a week. But after they are married, or have simply moved in with a boyfriend, they typically do 15 hours of housework every week, according to a report in the latest edition of Economic Journal.

For men, the effect is opposite. Before getting married or starting to cohabit, they do an average of seven hours' housework a week. Afterwards-that drops to five hours. The research says that men are willing to take a back seat because they think women enjoy taking control of the house and all the duties.

But women say they are forced to spend much more time at the kitchen sink because they are frustrated by the piles of dirty dishes left by their partners.

For many couples, the arrival of children means the housework duties multiply, and many women tend to pick up the lion's share.

The research, by the economist Helene Couprie, is based on a sample of more than 12,000 men and women in the British Household Panel Survey. A spokesman for the Economic Journal said it shows women tend to have more of a 'taste' for housework because they do more than men, even when single.

Women who hate housework, but cannot persuade their husbands or boyfriends to do it, could be helped by one compelling argument.

Scientists discovered recently that men could live longer if they did more chores. Hiding away from household duties and shirking childcare can even lead to them 'dying of boredom'.

When in review of this article and study, it's easy to see just how men might benefit from a little surprise gift of flowers once in a while. If they're not willing to get up off the couch, they should at least be willing to romance their lady a bit more.

This complete article and study can be found here

Labels: anniversary, marriage

This book makes one wonder if children don't have more common sense then adults when it comes to knowing what it takes to make a happy marriage. While parts are a tad cliche, others are unexpected, leaving the rest of the book refreshingly funny. The book contains a child's eye view as well as illustrations by the children. But since we all don't have the common sense it takes to keep that marriage happy, we tend to lean a little more toward the cliche approaches to love. One of the most cliche for men is sending flowers.

With products and services like those of Just Paper Roses, it's easy to add a new and refreshing flare to the same old cliche which is bound to make your love very happy.

Labels: happy marriage, just paper roses, marriage

Books can only provide that little nudge in the right direction in checking your attitude toward your marriage but are you doing what it takes to keep that spark alive? Flowers just because, perhaps?

Not many men realize that giving a woman a gift that she can convert into a keepsake and reflect back upon years from now is one of the most precious gifts you could give.

Labels: books, gifts, marriage, wedding

Many men are clueless when it comes to romancing their wives. It’s not because the desire isn’t there, it’s because the know-how isn’t.

The first thing to always remember, is what it took to get her is what it’s going to take to keep her. Think back to the time when you asked her out on your first date. Where did you go, what did you do? The obvious signs are there that she appreciated your efforts because she’s your wife now, correct?

The best way to romance your wife is to roll back the hands of time and start dating her again. Perhaps take her to a restaurant she’s mentioned wanting to visit. A movie is always a good option, however, the entire point of this whole dating thing, is to romance her, not shut her up.

Consider ordering paper roses to commemorate the special occasion or the just because occasion.

Going through the motions is half the fun. Send her an email asking her out – call her from work in the middle of the day – you could even call her from another room in the house; just make sure it’s obvious that the effort is being made on your part to actually date her.

And never forget, what it took to get her is what it takes to keep her.

Labels: anniversary, couples, date, marriage, romance, wife

For a marriage to survive and last until that dreamy "forever," intimacy must exist between the couple. What is intimacy anyway? This just does not pertain to the act of making love, but fulfilling each other's emotional needs. It entails enlightening conversations in between kisses and caresses.

A lot of marriage counselors chalk up the longevity of a marriage to how intimate the couple is.

Here are some ways to achieve that intimacy for that ideal, almost magical marriage:

1. All work and no intimacy make a dull couple.

It is a given that after a crazy day at the office, the husband and wife both feel exhausted. But they must not let it get in the way of their relationship. They must allow for some quality time in and out of their love bed.

2. The husband must give what his wife wants: quality talk time.

Wives want to talk things out and express what is inside their hearts. The husband must grant her that as this is one way to achieve emotional intimacy.

3. The couple must still exert an effort to look attractive.

It does not mean that both must be “dressed up” all the time. But married couples must still try their best to look nice for their partners. This is one of the ways to start up the intimacy.

4. The couple must schedule dates.

Dating must not end at marriage. In fact, both should set a time to go out and have fun, just like before.

5. Husband and wife must continually unleash their romantic side.

Kisses, hugs, flowers, holding hands, stolen smacks...’the works’ - they do magic in a relationship.

6. Surprises are nice.

Sweet surprises always lead to intimacy. If the couple knows when to pull off these incredibly romantic stints, then that's a surefire way to attain a divorce-proof relationship.

7. Solving a problem before it gets blown out of proportion is important.

Intimacy loses its appeal once it gets "infected" by those conflicts that cripple the relationship. Conflicts should let a couple grow and not cause the downfall.

It is nice to earn that happily-ever-after plateau. But marriage is not as easy as a Disney fairytale had told everyone. Intimacy must be maintained long after the honeymoon is over to guarantee the husband and wife that yes, this marriage would last. That yes, forever is possible.

By: Joe & Emily Season -

Labels: anniversary, intimacy, marriage, romance